he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
