Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
