the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
