That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
