So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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