He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
