So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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