Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
