I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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