Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
