Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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