I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
