last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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