I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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