you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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