why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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