so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
