apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We left an ass print on the piano.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
