I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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