I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
