Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently you make a good broom.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
