Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
