NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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