talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
