when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
