they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dignity is for republicans.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize