I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
