Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't deserve a penis
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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