you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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