my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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