You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
