I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
