Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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