Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
