last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
