similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
