sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
