tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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