Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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