Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
