I'm so fucking centered right now
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you would pick up someone in the library
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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