If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
