Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
