do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
