Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
