dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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