Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you traded sex for a burrito?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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