: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
