I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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