Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
