you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
