mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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