dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
