Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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