Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
