You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Found your dick twin last night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
