you guys were way drunker than both of me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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