What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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