i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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