8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
