I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
