I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
