..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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