saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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